something that bothers me is the worry that sometimes it isn't possible to look without there being some kind of an appropriation occurring......this is why porn is........strange for me. i love how men look but sometimes i think it is awfully darn hard to not cross over that line. there's an acquaintance i know from the gay men's choir.....every young man in the vicinity is aggressively ogled and leered upon....he's unrelenting. (i think i've called him an eye-fucker/rapist) i think it is a pathology, maybe? it makes me tired just to imagine the investments of his energies to no good end. i think being a troll is less to do with looks than with attitude. oh, i guess he imagines his "successes" paint us green with envy as he prances about with the newest boyfriend (bought and paid for) on his arm. i do wonder where he shops.....where do they make these young guys struggling to be arch and queenly at such tender ages!?! i imagine someone hunched over a metal-press cookie-cutter stamping out these fresh victims
*sigh*
today, everything hurts......i woke myself with a groan. today, it's the hands more than anything else.
another problem with seeing is there is no truly effective way of UN-seeing something. everyone, if they've not lived inside a bubble, has seen something that they had rather not have seen. working in a hospital, i think (sometimes) that i've seen far too much. i don't like pain, suffering, and death in my "entertainment" so much these days. i definitely wish i could un-see Salo' by Passolini. i know there are artistic arguments but.........i remain unconvinced.
i didn't go out this weekend. i stayed home and re-read The Odyssey.
*sigh*
today, everything hurts......i woke myself with a groan. today, it's the hands more than anything else.
another problem with seeing is there is no truly effective way of UN-seeing something. everyone, if they've not lived inside a bubble, has seen something that they had rather not have seen. working in a hospital, i think (sometimes) that i've seen far too much. i don't like pain, suffering, and death in my "entertainment" so much these days. i definitely wish i could un-see Salo' by Passolini. i know there are artistic arguments but.........i remain unconvinced.
i didn't go out this weekend. i stayed home and re-read The Odyssey.
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