little drops of fluoride in yo' sea of mind-candy, bitches.

The heart can think of no devotion

Greater than being shore to ocean -

Holding the curve of one position,

Counting an endless repetition. 

(Devotion, Robert Frost) 

1928

 Several things going on has me to thinking.......now, i've been on my own since my partner died in 2001 but i think i can speak a little something about the gays and relationships........most disturbing and consistent botheration is too little talk about devotion.....which is made of honor, duty, and obligation.  several couples in my milieu are "transitioning" to some kind of other status....failing coupledom.  sadly, the things cited as precipitating events are all kind of stupid.  now, Rev. Cheng probably would argue against this but i think a huge problem queer folks have is they are completely un-prepared for really good things in their life.  it's a suspicion i've had for quite sometime......everyone's too busy chasing exciting and new and at the end of the day they're left with not much to show.......the "new" falls off of anything pretty quickly.  this chase is a self-defense mechanism to hide from those persistent and deep feelings of unworthy-ness.   or, they are operating from some notion that a new boyfriend will suddenly make them a better person.  nah, honey....you'll still be the same minging idiot........i've always felt that loving someone is a call to be a better person....and i've actually experienced this and have seen this....sadly, this call is largely ignored.  it asks that one you look at yourself and ask what about me does this person find worthy and how do i develop and deepen these aspects.   second, you have to ask, "what kind of annoying awful shit about my personality do i need to address because not even Jesus will put up with this for long."   

now, why would gay folks (fags, queers, hot trannie messes,dykes, 2spirits, etc.) have such a problem accepting good stuff coming their way?  well....there is the problem that we aren't considered real people and the root of all systemic evils(hurricanes, volcanic eruptions, and earth quakes).  ever want to experience frustration:  try explaining heterosexual privilege to someone "blessed" with it [my position is this particular "blessing" is a curse because it means you have poor pattern recognition, short ring fingers, small dicks, and can't dance for shit].  yep, the str8 devils are a problem.   a huge task before all queerfolk is unlearning and dismissing a whole life-time of str8 devil bullshit.