Thursday, September 13, 2012

whine, bitch, and moan

shortly, i'll be heading in to work at the hospital.  as usual, a great dread is upon me....sometimes, i am very discontent with how my position has "evolved."  i think i'd much rather be tucked in a quiet corner not speaking to anyone.....quietly preparing my acid-eluates and doing my auto-adsorptions and antibody identifications.   it seems i'm paged every 10' and have to listen to everyone's problems and have to figure out solutions and work-arounds.   sometimes, i have serious and deep reservations about the maturity of my "distinguished colleagues."  this is usually when the feeling that my life has deteriorated to a mere dreary captivity-narrative really comes upon me.   [here's where the sighing and weepy violins begin playing].   i'm baffled at the resentment a few have for my being in this "leadership" position but it is something i tried to avoid.  it sucks to actually be quite good at one's job.....people have a daft expectation that one continue to perform.   should i ever leave, my next post will be colored by my struggling to be the least-common-denominator.......from where i sit, it seems much more rewarding.  blessed is the free-rider, yea verily.....right?


this is the point in my narrative that i remind myself:  "shit in one hand, wish in the other....and see what you have a handful at the end-of-the-day."

at least i can sit here at the coffee-shop a few moments and take in the view.  pretty, if a bit pale, young man fighting with his mac book and his apple tablet thing.....apparently they're not sync-ing or something.  it's more than endearing the way he bites his lower lip in frustration.  of course, the furrow in his brow tempts one to brush it away.......i do believe i have  mix-tapes older than him... still, him pretty and knows how to dress.  oh gawd, he just put on his dorky thick framed nerdy hawt!!!!    i studiously ignore him, henceforth.........

i picked up a collection of Scott Berman queer-horror short stories.   too deeply under-the-dread to be excited about the acquisition of will be 7 days before i have free-time to attend to it. 

ah, well........i'm dressed.  might as well go in to work.....i DO love my paycheck.