Sunday, October 2, 2011

"Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common."  Dorothy Parker.

i've been having an odd  'conversation' with friends in Kingston,TN and New Zealand about identity....it started with noting that of the current 'category' popular with the public health set (i.e., MSM or 'men who have sex with men') the majority do not identify as gay or bisexual but as 'straight.'  identification is essential in politics....that's why so many politicians of late have tended to declare "i'm a conservative republican" and since they're all doing it, i think the identification has nothing to do with distinction of any kind.  it's become something more like "abracadabra" or......"hocus pocus."   even better, "Open Sesame!"   anyhoo....i'll admit that i've never felt particularly "gay" and don't usually identify as such....i prefer "blessedly not str8."  seems more apropriate to me.  any category is an imposition of some kind of limit and that's the part that bugs me a little bit.  each category carries a set of performative expectations and many of which i've no interest in satisfying.  most recent man i've been smooching said to me after our first kiss, "but....i'm not gay!"  i laughed, kissed him some more and said, "i'm not, either."   of course he had to elaborate, "i'm str8!"  to this i responded, "lucky for you, i'm not at all prejudiced."   still, his confusions have become more than a problem for him......it's a "Serious Issue," now.   i figured he was old enough to not be so uncertain of who he wants to be but i think i was mistaken.   ah, well.   i guess it's not a total loss......we almost had a proper date.  which is progress, i guess.  from not-dating to sorta-kinda-half-assed-had-a-date.