Friday, May 4, 2012

no narrative here.

  • the water-head retard cousin further persists in revealing her general lack of intellectual oomph on the internet ethers for all to witness.  lawd, and she isn't even clever.  i pray for her sister and mother because they cannot deny they kin. 
  • happiness, i think, requires that desires be kept within reason.  met a fellow this weekend who is unhappy with his penis.  i thought it was a perfectly fine one and it performed admirably as a convenient handle, but he thinks, it would seem, that he needs to possess a weapon sufficient for the injuring of large cattle and the delicate elephant to be worthy of being called a man.  even if you only have 2.5" you shame the gorilla.  tho' i think the gorilla wouldn't even experience a moment's concern over it........this reminds me of a joke:  an elephant is confronted by a naked man.  the elephants says," it is cute but can you really breathe through it?!?!?"  everything, ultimately, boils down to perspective.
  • i suspect Birdie has begun to understand the mechanics of  the calendar and was attempting several ninja-esque maneuvers......he knew that today was the day for the dosing with the fish-burp nastiness and the peckish-ness inducing anointments (his monthly vermifuge and anti-tick,flea,mosquito potion, respectively).  i suspect his punky attitude for the rest of the day is more from an imagined insult to his dignity than any real after-effects of the medications.  the vermifuge does make him fart, tho.
  • the choir will be meeting at a new Greek restaurant......a group of fags meeting at a Greek eaterie......i'm sure there's a joke to be made with this situation. 
  • checked out the local CraigsList offerings.  horror!!!
  • i had a moment, in public, where i waxed a little poetic on how awesomely kewl bdelloid rotifers are (they live in pond scum).  everyone looked at me like i was crazy or something.  i'm surrounded by philistines incapable of appreciating functionally tetraploid beasties capable of almost complete dessication to a windborne form called a tun to escape parasitic attack, remarkably promiscuous competence (ability to take up foreign DNA from the environment), have given up sex for 80 million years, and have little propellors. i mean, goddamn, how much more can folks expect!?!?
  • the 31st of January was the anniversary of the founding of the first venereal disease clinic (London Lock Hospital).  should have hosted a party to commemorate the event.  too busy.
  • had a little get together with some cousins and they all raved at the wunnerful strawberry shortcake i made.....had to be fancy so there were raspberries and blackberries in there, too.  "what's in there that makes this sooo good!?!?!" was a common refrain.  "oh, it's simple," i said,"i peed in it."  actually there was a whisper of balsamic vinegar and a slight hint of rosemary in it.
  • i might make a cornmeal cake, today.  then, i might not.
  • here's a favourite pic, don't know where i stole it from:
  • about half the people on my FB friends list are folks i'm not really sure of who they are.  they seem to know me.  i was an arrogant shit back in HS where these folks seem to know me from.  i remain an arrogant shit. 
  • strange goings on in the neighborhood:  a young couple down the way from me recently had a baby boy.  the mother is refusing to care for the baby (cleaning, dressing, etc.) in protest of her husband's refusal to have the baby circumsized.  i think she needs her head checked or at maybe be dropped in a well.  Father and baby are doing quite well and the ladies at church are in the process of discerning whether a shunning or an interventional righteous ass-beating on the mother is warranted.  the community is unanimous in saying "the daddy sure is a good mamma to that baby."  well, if'n she's anything like her own mama, and her older sisters then he'll be best shed of her....nothing but a nest of no-account dirt-road whores, the lot of 'em.
  • the cops raided the alligator-farm last Friday.  big meth lab out there.  i'm sure a meth-addled alligator is a terrifying thing to behold.  i've never been fond of going out that way......alligators stink.
  • setting up germination tests for my tomato and melon seeds.  hopefully, i'll have 85% positives (my arbitrary set point for "pass").  potatoes and peas will go in the next 2 weeks or so (don't have my lunar calendar handy so can't give an exact date).
  • Ms. Ollie passed away at age 91, last night.  she went quietly in her sleep.  now, after Ms. Ollie's older sister "The Mean One" my eldest aunt will be the oldest old-bird on Route 6.  (not the oldest in the community...just along our part of Route 6).  given my Aunt Ruby's vanity, i suspect she'll open up a nursing/old folks' home just to keep from being the oldest.....tho' i suspect "The Mean One" will be with us for quite some time.  tho' she's older, she's much more spry and occupied than her sister, Ollie, was.....
  • i'm surprised that more contemplative mystics haven't written about how doing laundry is conducive to reflection.
  • i demo'd Native Instruments' Reaktor 5 this weekend.  it was good.  i also demo'd Cameleon5000.  it was good.  now, can i just justify spending the $$$$$????.  dilemma upon dilemma.  someone was reminiscing to me about the days i performed with the Hieroglyphic Pussy Collective and it got me missing the old Jupiter8.  gawd, it was a crunchy beast given to bursting into flames but did there ever some strangely fantastic racket come out of it!!?!?!?!?
  • just remembered an old joke: Thibodeaux is fucking his old lady and she starts screaming, "Deeper!!!! Deeeper!!!! Deeper!!!!!!" which puts him off his stroke and makes him a little mad so he starts hollerin' "Tighter!!!!Tighter!!!!!Tighter!!!!!".  his old lady left him that day.
  • ah, stephen.....you make me laugh so.  and you're str8!?!?  no matter, i'm not prejudiced that way...and your wife Erin is a very patient and understanding girl, yes?  i kid, of course.  you know you have to get that divorce before i can really even consider it, tho' you are quite handsome and talented.  until then, please stop leaving those silly tender and sweet little songs on my answering machine.  and by laughing, i fear i am encouraging you in this fancy but.....it has to stop.  please don't be sad.